Need a quickie birthday banner for a surprise party hosted at a doll house or in a vacant hamster cage? Head on over to the dollar store and pick up some labels.

In this part of Brooklyn, there aren't many dollar stores in the traditional sense; they're more like dollar bodegas. The one nearby only had a single variety of label. I made do by doctoring them with my favorite tubes of fluid, aside from orange Otter Pops--jelly pens. Fold the labels in half, and stick them on some string. Seal them tight by rubbing them with your pen cap.

This is a great project for children, or adults who supposedly "can't craft." You can show them how to do this and scream in their dumb faces, "EVERYBODY CAN CRAFT, GARY! YOU JUST DON'T WANT IT BAD ENOUGH! WHEN YOUR DREAM COMES TRUE AND AMERICA STARTS MAKING ALL THEIR OWN PRODUCTS AGAIN, YOU'LL WISH YOU PAID ATTENTION, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO AFFORD ONE FROM WAL-MART ANYMORE!"*

*Reserve this motivational tool for individuals over the age of 9.